Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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