i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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