I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
