I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
someone owes me an orgasm
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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