Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
