My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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