I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
