Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you had me at cake vodka
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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