I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
