"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Pooping to opera.
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