The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
