i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
