I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
