Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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