Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
