STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
