Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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