im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
