No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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