Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Your penis caused this!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
