just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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