two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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