I can't breathe out the right side of my face
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
