They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
