just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
