Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
