the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize