No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
