I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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