i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
