Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize