I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When did angry sex become our thing?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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