That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
