stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
