i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize