needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
