When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you had me at cake vodka
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Randomize
