I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
