Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
