Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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