I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
