I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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