when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
