I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We left the knife in your bed.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
And then he peed in my hair
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