i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
