i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
