We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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