please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
