I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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