His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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