D3 body, D1 cock
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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