I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
operation have a gay friend backfired
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
