Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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