Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
