I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
