This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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